In 13 days Waverly turns five. This will be her 6th Christmas. I don't know how to express the way I feel this time of year. As ike all moms, I am amazed it was that long ago. As like all moms, it feels like yesterday.
For this mom, looking at Wave's first Christmas present, isn't just a wave (tee hee) of memories, its almost heartbreaking. You see, that tigger, that was her only gift that yr (besides from family) and he didn't come from Patrick or I, he came from the food bank.
What seems like yesterday for me, is being 26, pregnant and broke, being served an eviction notice, when I brought my newborn home from the hospital, not knowing how we were going to get food on the table and this little tigger stuffy. I wanted to give that newborn the moon and her only toy came from the foodbank.
Thinking back on it, I still cry.
But now, I don't cry sad tears or guilty tears b.c I couldnt provide for her , I have let that go, its a different kind of cry almost of joy for making it through that and still standing tall .
I wish I could go back to that 26 yr old girl and tell her its going to be OK. Tell her its going to be GREAT. Tell her that tigger, was donated in kindness, the kind of kindness she can now afford to pay forward. I want to tell her the 'man" who wanted nothing to do with that little baby, still doesn't, but it doesn't matter, b/c the MAN that was meant to be her daddy, has been there the way he said he would be, when he met you, pregnant, said he was in love and he wasn't going anywhere. He's still here, and your daughter got so much more that Christmas than tigger, and you didn't even realize it. She got a family, that was going to and continues to work to give her everything she could ever dream of most of all unconditional love.
This time of year, I feel nostalgic, I feel happy, I feel a little sad to see my baby grow, but most of all , I feel blessed and grateful.
Waverly will have a big wooden beautiful doll house under the tree, something I always dreamed my daughter would have, b.c I had one and i loved it so. But, that big gift, although it symbolizes how far we have come together, won't ever be as special as Tigger, which is why W and I are going out in a couple of weeks to buy some toys for the toy drive, b/.c I know what a little bear, or car or doll or even a Tigger can mean to a family.
Happy Holidays
Finally after hell with the seller, then hell with UPS. Waverly's hand made Jack and Sally dolls are here!
side note: it occurred to me while watching W put the topping together (yes I watched her put the topping together, I opened packages, handed her the tools but she did it... all if of it on her own), that my 4yr old just may be a better cook that some adults I know, lol. She still doesn't use the oven but I can only imagine what the yrs will bring with her cooking at my side, I truly hope she loves it let if only half as much as I do, and remembers us in the kitchen together as fondly as I surely will.
Homemade Apple Strudel.
My version of a grilled chicken alfredo.
Herb;d pork chops in a rasberry sauce.
Yellow soup. I have perfected this recipe to the point that i honestly (and humbly of course), think it is not only the best thing I have ever made, but the best soup I have ever eaten. Ever.
the making of the ravioli.
Sage, mandarin cream sauce, for my squash ravioli.
I have been busy, as you can see. :) Since July first of this year I have now lost 18lbs. 4inches off my waist, 1 inch off each thigh and my ability to focus on all the things I cannot change.
This was w's afternoon snack for the day. She loved it. I enjoyed making it, I love working with phyllio dough. 
Some more food. Chicken pasta bean soup (YUMMMMMMY), The Works breakfast burrito. and Pork and green bean lettuce wraps, all recipes from The Cookin canuck blog 
Saturday we did cupcakes, as shown in my last post, and today, it was sugar cookies with cream cheese icing. YUMMMM For supper, sigh, nothing really beats a freshly made chicken veggie pie... anything in pie crust is to die for imo. And with the cooler weather its just plain comfort food :). 
This was our project for our rainy day :). Patrick made the awesome witch, so cute! W's are covered in sprinkles and candy corn, delightful!
lets hope the guys at my husbands office like them. W is in a mood where she just doesn't like anything homemade. Dunkaroos, are about the only dessert she will eat, lol. Kids. So I am baking basically cause I love to, and apparently it makes hubby popular at work ;). I thought they were delish, but I don't want to eat all 30 of them. ;)
Since I know everyone wants them, lol. The bottom pic is me in Sept of last yr, almost 25lbs heavier than I am now. You can totally see belly and thighs, that aren't there now (top pics are me today) I wish I had better ones, but tbh I wasn't really into having my pics taken. I am still not, as I haven't lost any weight in my face, and I know that fact still makes me look pretty big :(, but you can tell in the body that some weight is gone. Especially those thighs, yay jogging!
Shes growing so fast, she is almost as big as Darcy already..I am a little scared of her final size, lol.